this is a low, but it won't hurt you...

For the first time since I've been back, I hit a strange wall of depression last night. OK, so nothing suicidal, and if we get technical about it, it's not depression, there's nothing clinically wrong. So let's call it a low. I can give no reason why it happened, but as I lay in bed trying to sleep, I was transported back to my time away. In particular, I was taken back to Flagstaff in Arizona. It was quite a strange experience. As I lay in bed, with my eyes closed, desperately trying to sleep, I suddenly felt like I was no longer here, in Cricklewood, in my bed at home. Instead I was back in America in the front room of Scott's house, on the pull out sofa bed, wearing my long johns and two t-shirts to combat the bitterly cold weather outside. I recalled arriving in Flagstaff, and finding Scott's house. Within minutes of entering his home, I myself, felt at home. There was something about Scott and where he lived that I felt immediately comfortable with. I met his house mate, Felicia, and in the coming days, a friend of hers, Michelle, both of whom I got on with extremely well. And I mustn't forget Tobin, the dog, possibly the friendliest dog of all time.

It was during this almost out of body experience and recollection that I felt the sudden low.

Of all the wonderful amazing places I stayed during my six months, Flagstaff continually sticks out as feeling like a home away from home. During my stay there I visited the Grand Canyon, I went on a brief cross country ski, I visited the Snowbowl mountain, Walnut Canyon, the Wupatki National Monument, Sunset & Lenox Crater, made and ate Sushi, played countless Yahtzi, watched films, learned about new music, and basically didn't ever want to leave. It also followed my amazing Christmas on a ranch in Chino Valley and was followed by my trip through Vegas and Death Valley.

Six months later, I remember my time there as clearly as if it was yesterday. So much so that I'm randomly transported there at 1 in the morning. And the irony is I feel low because I'm recalling the best 6 months of my life where I met some of the greatest people I've ever met. It's not even a depressing low. It's almost a happy low. A happy low that recalls the high of those six months. A low that reminds you how high you can climb.

(I know this song is technically about the shipping forecast, but I liked the lyric "this is a low, but it won't hurt you...")

fate's hand...

One thing I didn't blog about whilst I was away was the untimely / frustrating / depressing / complicated end to my reign as bassist in Hatcham Social. I actually wrote about 6 or so blogs about it, but every time I went to click on 'Publish Post' I held back, realising that I didn't want to air my dirty laundry for all the world to see, plus I was aware that it would be a biased point of view (my own!), that may not 100% represent the situation. So everything I wrote about it was subsequently deleted. Having left England almost detesting music and everything that goes with the music industry, I pretty much decided I would avoid the music industry when I returned, and return to just enjoying music for what it is in the confines of my bedroom, and not in a rehearsal room or a van travelling hours to a far off venue.

And so fate decided that within my first week back an amazing opportunity would rear its head. Long story short, a band that had recently relocated to London would be needing a bassist for about 6 weeks whilst their regular bass player dealt with the birth of his first child, and would involve touring Europe, the USA and Australia. I met the band and their management, was sent their album and live tracks, a load of bass tabs, I rehearsed with the bassist and on Thursday went for a full band rehearsal where we successfully went through a number of songs. However, I wasn't going to celebrate the job until I had a contract and saw some flights and working visas in my name.

And that's when fate dealt a completely different hand. On Friday I received a message from their manager stating that completely out of the blue a friend of the band from back home in Australia would actually be in London and able to cover the dates from June to August, and as he already knew their songs, he would be taking the job. I completely understand the decision as it makes complete sense for the band, but after working so hard for 2 weeks learning their songs, it came as a bit of a blow.

So on Monday I start the search again for employment. And I've put my bass amp back in the garage. Let's see what cards are dealt next...

this is England...

One thing I know I did do was a trip up north to visit some friends, and take in a 20+ mile bike ride. The chosen date was April 29th. Not that I have anything against the Royals, or Will & Kate, I just didn't fancy being a part of the hoohah surrounding their wedding, so when Stef & Ryan suggested we go biking in Derbyshire, I thought it was a great idea. I got a train up to Manchester and we drove out to Derbyshire where Ryan had kindly brought along his dad's bike for me to ride. About midday we stopped for a break in a small quarry, and Ryan quite ingeniously took out a small cooler bag with 3 beers in it. We reckoned it was about the time Will & Kate were probably exchanging vows, so we raised a toast to the happy couple. The 23 mile bike ride took in some wonderful scenery following a disused railway track, and we stopped in a small village for lunch, and a pint. After so much outdoor venturing in far off countries, it was great be doing the same back home. If you're able to, take a close look at the final photo, in particular the top of the hill. This Is England...

time takes no prisoners...

What has happened to the past 35 days?

The previous 177 days I can account for, I was travelling from place to place on the most extraordinary 6 months of my life, but I returned home on Friday April 15th, and now it's Friday May 20th. I'll tell you what's happened to it. London happened. I'd forgotten how all consuming London can be. It takes time and crushes it into a small medium by which we live, and before you know it 35 days have passed and you don't quite know how. It's been great being back, catching up with friends, re-visiting my favourite parts of London, seeing family again, and where possible, getting involved in the couchsurfing scene here. Living back at home, I haven't hosted anyone, but I've been a to a few events and met numerous foreigners, either travelling through or living in London. It's been a great way to put something back into the community that served me so well for 6 months. But I haven't really had time to reflect on those 6 months, until the past couple of days. I finally put up the maps of my journey up on my wall, stood back, and just looked at them. I've also been sifting through the thousands of photos I took, and strangely feel quite disconnected to the images I see. Was that really me? There? Doing that? It's a strange sensation. However, returning to London does not feel like the end of a journey I started in October 2010. No, it just feels like an interim part of my journey. I've started to dream of being somewhere else again now, and am now looking at various options to get away this year, and even into 2012. I have no specific plans, just ideas. But it was only an 'idea' in March 2010 that I'd like to travel across America. 7 months later that I began that journey.

USA Road Trip Map

New Zealand North Island Road Trip Map

New Zealand South Island Road Trip Map